Thursday, February 4, 2016

Object Sex Round-Up

FLG hasn't posted any object sex stories in a long, long time.   Felt it was time to remedy that oversight.

Daily Telegraph:
A MAN who shocked Britain after trying to have sex with a post box has been found dead outside a Chinese restaurant.
FLG actually feels a bit bad about this one.    Poor guy dies and all anybody knows is that he tried to fuck a mailbox.

Daily Telegraph:
A 31-YEAR-OLD woman has found love with a tree named Tim and says it’s the best sex she’s ever had. 
It’s believed Emma’s bizarre attraction to the tree may be a result of a condition called dendrophilia where a person is sexually attracted to a tree.

Questions:   Wouldn't it be easier to get a saw, cut off a branch, take the branch to a lathe, then a large belt sander, throw some lacker or whatever on it, and then go to town in the privacy of one's own home, with no marriage necessary?  Is anybody else surprised that the word dendrophilia needs to exist?



DailyNewsMobile:
Clark was purportedly found engaging in sexual behaviors with the Xlerator hand drying machine by a female custodian. The traumatized custodian reports “That boy had his d*ck all up in that hand drying machine.” she continues to describe how the incident has left her scarred “I’m not always gonna remember that boys face, but what I will never forget was the sound. ‘Whhhhrrrrrrrrrrrr’ I heard ‘Whhhrrrrrr’ then I saw his semen splattering across the floor, and I was like I ain’t cleaning that up.”

This one isn't real, but had FLG on the floor anyway.

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