Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Uses Of A Classical Education

Helen Rittelmeyer is way smarter and far better read than FLG, but he'll tell you one thing, FLG knows more about drinking than Westbrook Pegler:
In the late thirties, a New York distilling company issued some publicity to the effect that hangovers from blended whiskies were less severe than bonded whiskies. Two or three days later, they received a note from Pegler on his New Canaan, Connecticut, stationery reading: “My interest in a prophylaxis or cure for hangover is not academic and information on your marvelous discovery would be gratefully received.” An employee of the company passed the letter to a member of the [Heywood] Broun crowd which enjoyed a laugh at the columnist’s expense.

You see, FLG knows from Diodorus Siculus that it's better to drink blended or mixed alcohol:
There he drank much unmixed wine in commemoration of the death of Heracles, and finally, filling a huge beaker, downed it at a gulp. Instantly he shrieked aloud as if smitten by a violent blow and was conducted by his Friends, who led him by the hand back to his apartments. His chamberlains put him to bed and attended him closely, but the pain increased and the physicians were summoned. No one was able to do anything helpful and Alexander continued in great discomfort and acute suffering.

BTW, FLG loves this sentence a little bit later:
Since some historians disagree about the death of Alexander, and state that this occurred in consequence of a draught of poison, it seems necessary for us to mention their account also.

Nevertheless, the lesson here is clear -- it's best to drink mixed, blended, and unpoisoned alcohol.

Finally, FLG knows some of you are undoubtedly thinking,  "FLG, you didn't have to go through all that to prove you knew more about anything. You could've just written:

Pegler lived in New Canaan;
FLG never has;
Therefore, FLG knows more about everything.

QED."

To which FLG responds, quite right and tut-tut.

(With FLG's apologies to Goldberry.)

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