Thursday, September 29, 2011

Quote of the day

The way to approach the issue, the more I think about it, is not to care what others think, in life, perhaps, but in this arena especially.

FLG would just like to point to this post he wrote back in December, unsurprisingly, inspired by another post by Phoebe:
FLG has long maintained that basing your personal happiness on the approval, admiration, or acceptance of other people is a futile task. One needs to define their own standards and goals and try to achieve them. And this goes for society as well. FLG contends that the more concerned people are about what societal expectations are, the less likely that person is to be happy. It's a roughly indirectly proportional relationship.

Now, it is admittedly difficult to separate your own goals from those of society or to ignore its demands. FLG understands that. However, to the extent you can approach that ultimately unachievable goal of not caring what other people, or society, say the happier FLG thinks you'll be. Just to be clear, FLG isn't advocating being a self-involved jerk. Be nice. Be polite. Just don't define yourself by the standards of other people.


Anonymous said...

Sort of like basing your tax system on what your friends think is fair, rather than maximum feathers for minimum hiss... dave.s.

Phoebe said...

Yes, FLG, you coined the idea of not caring so much about what others think of you.

But in all seriousness, I'm not opposed, as a rule, to caring. Some caring is a good thing, and the often-cited fact that women tend to care more than men is not entirely a bad thing for women. But in this particular area - wedding style, then marital status, assuming no one's, like, 13 - others' opinions really don't matter, and unless you live in an incredibly homogeneous world, you're likely to be told you're doing it wrong from all angles, too traditional for some, not enough for others.

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