Wednesday, September 22, 2010

A Conversation

Mrs. FLG: The dog threw up all over her bed today.

FLG: She's been eating grass and then throwing up outside. Didn't the adoption agency say something about that?

Mrs. FLG: It might be on the sheet they gave us. It's on the fridge.

FLG goes to the kitchen and returns.

FLG: Says feed them pumpkin to help with upset stomach. Didn't you just buy like four cans of pumpkin?

Mrs. FLG: Yes, because there's a pumpkin shortage.

FLG: Pumpkin shortage? Okay, but you have four cans.

Mrs. FLG: I bought four cans because there's a shortage.

FLG: And thus exacerbating the shortage. Anyway, we only need to use one.

Mrs. FLG: If it will make her feel better, but only one. There's a shortage.

FLG: What are you going to use them for anyway?

Mrs. FLG: Pies, bread, whatever.

FLG: Four cans? We can always get more.

Mrs. FLG: You're not understanding. Short-age.


Anonymous said...

You're only exacerbating the problem! Now everybody's gonna run out and get those last few cans I had my eye on!

Andrew Stevens said...

There is no shortage of pumpkins. There's just a longage of pumpkin demand, probably caused by dogs with upset stomachs.

Miss Self-Important said...

This is very important news! A shortage of pumpkin products could potentially ruin my entire autumn season.

Anonymous said...

You gave the dog pumpkin? Who are you? Michelle Obama? She's a dog. And a dog that has had a rough enough life.

Besides pumpkin stains when it comes back up. Which it will because she's a carnivore.

Softly scrambled eggs (organic not necessary) on very lightly butter toast (pepperidge farms) -yes you can cut it up for her- sliced boiled chicken and some Uncle Ben's rice. Watch salt amount when cooking rice. Easy invalid food.

Mrs. P

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