Thursday, December 17, 2009

Correspondence

My Dear FLG,

If you don't stop with the damn economic theory crap, I will become annoyed. More annoyed than I already am. I long for the days of sex toys, pirates, terrible music selections and long bouts of cursing...That's how bad it is. The occasional Elvis just ain't getting it done. Please help!

Basil Seal

Sir Basil

In my defense, I did mention the rare disease known as Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome recently. With the added bonus of a link to a picture of girlies in Santa hats and lingerie. Plus, a quote of the day that compared vagina to See's Candy. And a video, albeit in French, about a guy sending sex toys to the French government.

But I acknowledge your criticism and will return to the gutter with all due haste and revelry. Argghh!

Sincerely,
FLG

So, without further ado, and being in the Christmas spirit, FLG offers his gutter Christmas gift list:

The first gift kills both the pirate and terrible music selections with one CD -- Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean: Swashbuckling Sea Songs


For those of you who know somebody who longs to possess the same facility with profanity that FLG displays, he recommends:
Watch Your F*cking Language: How to swear effectively, explained in explicit detail and enhanced by numerous examples taken from everyday life


Lastly, let's say that you want to give the special someone in your life the best present ever, which we all know is a dick-in-a-box, but a last minute business trip has called you away. Never fear, just make an exact replica of your dick using the Clone-A-Willy Vibrator Moulding Kit, put it in a box, and send it on its way. It's the dick-in-a-box that keeps on giving.

3 comments:

The Maximum Leader said...

Uh... Thanks?

FLG said...

You are quite fucking welcome.

George Pal said...

Re 'Watch Your F*cking Language'

Was FLG consulted by the author? Is the author even aware of FLG’s natural abilities in this field? More than FLG’s knowledge of philosophy and economics, I envy his being able to swear like ten sober sailors and have it all come out so posh.

 
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