Monday, December 7, 2009

A Conversation

This conversation took place entirely within FLG's mind while at Trader Joe's.

FLG: Mrs. FLG said to get pears. I see apples. Where are the pears? Ah, there they are.

FLG: But there's some in boxes of four and some loose. What did she say again? Check the list.

FLG: Oh, good. She wrote specifically to get two pears. That leaves out the boxes.

FLG: But they have two types of pears in boxes, Asian and Bartlett, and only Bartlett are available loose. I wonder what the difference is besides one is green and the other brown?

FLG: Think, you dumb shit. You worked as a green grocer for a couple of years. You know the difference.

FLG: The Asian ones suck at driving?

FLG: That's a terrible thing to say. Funny, but terrible.

FLG: Wait a second. Asian pears are supposed to be round. Those are fucking Bosc pears. Idiots.

FLG: I should talk to the manager. What do they call them here? Captain or some shit. Whatever. I'll tell him that they don't...

FLG: Wait. Tell them what exactly? That I know about pears and their labels are wrong? He won't care and I don't have the time.

FLG: Make note to bring Sharpie next time for surreptitious and unauthorized label correction.
 
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