When it comes to Santa Claus, my 9-year-old son is letting go in stages. The other day he made a key tactical concession.
"I've decided I don't believe that elves make all the Christmas presents," he announced. "But I do still believe in Santa himself." He spoke without catching my eye, in a tone that made it clear that the subject was now closed.
So how did I respond? With a parental panic attack, of course. The familiar questions came thick and fast: Were we wrong to let our son believe in Santa Claus? Will he be traumatized by the truth? Or feel so betrayed by us that he struggles to form relationships in later life?
These days, the Great Santa Debate isn't just about whether to pretend that every Christmas a paunchy old man in a red suit squeezes down millions of chimneys bearing gifts. Oh no, it goes much deeper than that. It feeds into a broader culture of parental hysteria.
With everyone from teachers and celebrities to parents and psychologists weighing in, the battle lines in this debate are starkly drawn. One camp dismisses the Santa story as a pernicious lie that commercializes Christmas, excludes non-Christians and ruptures the trust between parent and child; the other embraces it as a bit of harmless fun that reflects the imagination and wonder of childhood. On both sides, the strength of feeling can be startling. One blogger writes that lying to your children about Santa is a "form of child abuse."
Why is it that parents are convinced their kids can't deal with the same shit they did when they were a kid? Are they idiots?
FLG believed in Santa until about 8. He was more sad than mad when he figured out the jolly fat man was make-believe. What is with these people? Child Abuse? Children need a little whimsy because in case you haven't noticed adulthood can be a bit tedious, boring, cynical, and cold. The kids can handle it, and they will have enough time to deal with the reality later on.
The worry about Santa becoming more important than Jesus in Christmas is on firmer ground, but that's something best rectified by parents who are concerned about it. Want your kids to focus more on Jesus than Santa? Then make it happen. The whole world ain't gonna rebalance its focus to your preference. Suck it up. Maybe if enough people raise their kids to value Jesus more than Santa at Christmas then the culture will shift. But whining about it makes you sound, well, like whiners.
Kids are smarter and tougher than all these mamby-pamby adults give them credit for. They can handle it.
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5 comments:
Our children, being American (so naturally in possession of a sophistication regarding capitalism other children across the world due to their place of birth may not have), have been instructed from the get-go that Santa was in the employ of Jesus.
Not the other way around.
Mrs. P
You know... This brings up a very interesting discussion that I recently had with Villainette #1. Villainette #1 is 11 years old and has known "the truth" about Santa for a number of years. She is keeping the secret for the benefit of the Wee Villain.
The other night while we were riding to get some presents at the mall she declared "Do you feel badly about lying to me all those years about Santa Claus?"
This is a particularly pointed question because if there is one thing that is certain to get one an extra helping of punishment in the Villainous household it is lying. My daughter was interested in why it was acceptable for her mother and I to lie about Santa Claus and why we suffer no consequence from our many years of lying on the subject.
It was a difficult subject to address.
- the Maximum Leader
Maxy, I understand. But it's really not about lying, is it? Letting the kids believe in Santa is about the family having fun and keeping the children's minds open to imagination and possibilities like fairy tales do. Hopefully, down the road this will serve to keep their minds open to the Divine.
Mrs. P
I believe my response skipped around from the Three Wise men (who I can't seem to be able to recall are Caspar, Balthazar and Melichior), Saint Nicholas, Santa Claus to the "spirit of Christmas giving." I would have been a little better served by trying to go down the road of imagination and possibility. Better served by a shorter and perhaps easier to apprehend answer.
All in all Villainette #1 seemed to come along with my little tale pretty well.
I think we decided to leave the Santa Claus bit as a "useful fiction."
- The Maximum Leader
Of course you will be a fucking moron parent. My general question of my friends, when their kids turn 13 is, 'okay, are you an ass hole yet?' and the general response is, of course.
I have attained fucking moron status already, pipped by my #2 son, who is 10. Interestingly, #2 pipped me well before #1 (who is 12 and thought I was okay pretty much until that last coupla months).
dave.s.
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