Art Appreciation

Dear Sir Basil Seal:

I have long coveted membership in your art appreciation club – Roman Catholic Boys for Art. Uninvited and unable to join due to my heretical status, I am left with no other alternative but to found my own organization – Heretic Boys for Art. The name is somewhat uncreative, but I believe that HBfA has the potential to rival your august institution in a very short time.

Us heretics have distinct advantages when it comes to art appreciation. First, we are unburdened by copious amounts of guilt. Second, we will save money on indulgences. I shudder at what the total bill for RCBfA must be on that front. Lastly, the eight hours you spend in confession and saying Hail Marys for uttering the word nipple is time we can spend appreciating art. However, heretics also have a tendency to go off the reservation, so to speak. HBfA could easily cross the line from the more exotic forms of art into out and out pornography; many of us just don’t possess the good taste and sense to discern the difference. Therefore, HBfA membership will be restricted to heretics who have received a classical education, myself the only exception.

All members must recognize the risks they are taking in joining HBfA, namely the possibility of being burnt at the stake in effigy by members of RCBfA. However, I hope that RCBfA and HBfA can have a symbiotic relationship despite our differences.

Sincerely,
FLG

With no further ado, the first HBfA entry...